America, Here I Come!

America, Here I Come!

Tweet I have been out of the country (the US) for over a year, 15 months to be precise. I’ve spent all but 3 weeks of that in Africa. That’s a long time. In fact, it’s a personal record that I’m ready to bring to an end. In three days I head back to the States for 3 weeks. I thought I would share with you some of the things I’m looking forward to most because, let’s face it, you probably don’t miss it at all. That last sentence made this whole blog post feel futile for a moment… Family. I miss my mom, I’ll just put that out there right now. My mom and my sister are the most important women in the world to me (even if I wasn’t single, they would kill me if I didn’t publicly state this as fact from...

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Apparently I’m too Sarcastic

Tweet So being funny isn’t bad enough. Apparently, in the eloquent words of a friend of a friend, I have reached “that awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you’re stupid.” In college and just after, some of my best friends and I got to the point where we would get so incredibly dry in our humor and sarcasm that no one around us understood that we were, in fact, being sarcastic. You might wonder, how is this funny? Well, to be honest, it’s not. I mean, for us it was, but for everyone around us we just looked like either a pack of liars or a bunch of idiots. One of us would tell some girl in a group that he was ex-CIA or a monkey trainer or a botanist who developed a shoe-eating plant. The girl would...

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Apparently I’m too Hilarious

Tweet This seems to be a confusing statement, because how could you be TOO hilarious? Well it turns out that being funny is, in and of itself, confusing for people. The thing is that I write fantasy fiction, not comedies. There are parts of my books that are funny. I’ve been told people laugh out loud at parts of my books, and sometimes they’re even the parts they’re supposed to laugh at. The point is, that if I’m writing blogs with comics full of jokes and then writing epic fantasies that take place in my own world (a world that’s on the verge of a horrific collapse), well… people might get mixed signals. This is what I’m told is called “building a brand.” Basically I’ve been advised that if I keep up...

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My book is exactly like LOTR

My book is exactly like LOTR

Tweet I get the following question a lot regarding my book: “So… is it like Lord of the Rings?” It’s an honest question. I mean, how could they know? But after slapping my forehead I usually say something like: “Yes, yes it is. It’s actually pretty much the exact same story. There are hobbits, orcs, and a spider named Shelob.” “So what’s different about it? Does it have elves?” “The difference.” I say, “Is that instead of a hobbit trying to destroy a ring, it’s a ring, get this… it’s a ring trying to destroy a hobbit!” I then smile really big and wait for some synapses to connect. If they do, and it’s not the – oh, this is sarcasm – synapses I...

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Why I’ll never be as famous as Nathan Fillion

Why I’ll never be as famous as Nathan Fillion

Tweet And these are hard facts. The thing is that whenever people find out I wrote a book, and that it’s for sale, they tend to say something like “I can’t believe you’re gonna be famous!” Or “Remember me when you get super famous!” My usual response is something bashful. I’ll say “oh quit it,” while brushing their adulation aside furtively with my hand. I mean I appreciate the comment, I harbor similar delusions and grasp at any straws thrown my way. But in the end, it’s really impossible for me to ever be famous. Especially as famous as Nathan Fillion. And here’s why. For one, fame is a moving target. Who’s famous depends entirely on where you are and who you’re talking to. No...

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