10 Reasons to Hate Moths

10 Reasons to Hate Moths

This is pretty much an adaptation of a Twitter rant I went on a few months ago (and has since been adopted into a cartoon on YouTube). Considering the timeless nature of the subject, I figure why not revisit it in the blagosphere. I wrote these when I was in a place in Africa that mandated I sit outside to use the internet. Actually, I could sit inside but the number of openings in the walls and amount of bird poop on the floors made it feel like it was outside. In either case, the moths were a pest with which to be reckoned. So, with no further adieu, here are ten reasons why I hate moths. You make up your own minds.


Moths are imposters

That’s right. People often ignorantly associate moths with their better-known cousin, the butterfly. The thing is, butterflies are gentle, beautiful creatures that flutter gently in the breeze and brighten your day.


Moths are dirty, heavy, dusty creatures that would take your wallet as soon as spit on you. Both of which they’re attempting to do every time they flop by. They’re evil and annoying.



They love to hit you in the face

I don’t know what it is about moths, but they have this terrible tendency to flutter into your face. And it isn’t ever the soft, gentile touch that we so regularly associate with butterflies. Flutter is probably the wrong word. They flap and smack you in the face repeatedly whenever they get the chance. And they don’t go away. It’s like they’re searching desperately to escape a fire and you’ve got massive “emergency exit” signs plastered on your forehead.


Not to mention they do it so hard that they often wound themselves. Fatally. And then they expect your pity! Flopping around on the ground like that…


They get dust on everything

Why on God’s green Earth are they covered in dust? That seems like reason enough to hate them, but in the end it’s not for me to judge what you cover yourself in. Just don’t get it on me! It’s like having some scrub for a neighbor that’s never heard of soap come over at random and rub himself on your furniture. Thank God moths don’t smell like your hobo neighbor. In reality they probably do, but thankfully are too small to register in the olfactory senses.



They flutter all over your computer screen

If you’re in a fairly dark area there’s a good chance a moth is attempting to hump the living daylights out of your computer screen right now. I couldn’t tell you why it’s so infatuated with your screen, but it’s probably obstructing your view as you read this very post. There are few things as annoying as that. When you’re focused on something like your computer and there’s something hovering around and interfering with your ability to see. You might as well have someone walk by and dangle a hotdog in front of the screen. They should probably hit your computer with the hotdog too because they like to fly as hard as they can into things as if they were trying to enter another dimension.


You might as well hit yourself in the face with that hotdog while you’re at it because you know that moth is coming for you.


They obstinately refuse your help

For something so small and stupid you should have an easy enough time getting it out the door, right? Wrong. Because odds are they’re huge, heavy, and make weird buzzing noises whenever you get close. And they bounce. I’ve tried to hunt down moths for hours before. And every time you hit them they just bounce away behind something to hide. It takes an elaborate system of well timed pushes and pulls on available objects to flush them out from wherever they are (which is never where you expect). Then of course you have to overcome your stark terror when it flies directly at your face long enough to bat it down again in self defense. Which, of course, leaves you in the “finding moth” phase again. You try to usher it out into the back yard peacefully, but every time it gets within inches of the threshold it darts back into the room. By the time you get it out into the wild again it’s mortally wounded. Expecting your pity. Flopping around on the porch like you were trying to do this to it the whole time. Ugh…



They leave a mess if you do kill them

So you’ve given up on getting it out the door peacefully and have decided just to end everyone’s suffering and kill it. Well not without leaving a mess. It’s like moths are built to encourage you to kill them with every excruciating motion and yet discourage you from doing just that with the results. Not only do they leave a dust trail across your computer screen and around your ear (a choice location for repeated visits), but as soon as you give them even the most gentle thwack you’re rewarded with a disproportionate amount of brightly colored guts. How God packed that much goo into each and every moth I’ll never know. In the end they put Gushers to shame (you’ll never look at those things the same).



You can’t kill them and feel satisfied

Why? Not because the act doesn’t deserve satisfaction. I mean you started out out trying to save its life and in return it hit you in the face about ten times. No, it’s because there’s always some overly-conscientious animal lover nearby. Someone who would stop using anti-bacterial soap if they realized the massacre that resulted from each hand washing. It’s because the hottest girl in the room happens to see you smash that dirty moth, and you smile. And when you make eye contact she looks at you like you’ve stepped over that line that only professional assassins and payday loan dealers ever cross.



They sense vacuums in moth space

Even if you do manage to kill one and avoid the inevitable lecture that’s lurking around the corner, there is an infinite number of moths waiting to replace their fallen comrades.


They rarely show up all at once. No. They hang out in solitude or, at most, with a partner. Their plan? To annoy the hell out of you. Then, when you’ve finally gotten them back outside or, heaven forbid, killed them, two more pop up. They usually give you a few minutes of respite to let you settle back down. To begin to appreciate your peace and calm. Get back into your book. And then BAM! They smack you in the face and you’re back to square one.


They’re terrifying

This could fit anywhere, but my buddy Jeff will be the first to admit that the right moth at the right time will scare the living daylights out of you. In fact, he’ll admit that any moth will scare him at any time anywhere. When we were painting our house a few years ago he had to take a two hour break because of a buzzing-moth incursion. But anyone caught off guard will jump out of their skin at the random appearance of a moth. And of course, that random appearance usually has fallout. Like it dive-bombs you, bounces off your face, and lands in your food. Flops around for a while, then disappears. Your food is ruined. You have a fresh stain in your pants. And all you want to do is kill… kill… kill…

Then you try to go to the bathroom to clean up, turn on the light, and BAM – moth attack. It hits you in the face.


You scream and roll around on the ground like you’re on fire. It finds a new place to hide. And the cycle continues.


They’re ridiculously stupid


We all hate stupid people to some degree. You might not hate them, that’s a strong word, but they certainly frustrate all of us. Even stupid people get annoyed by stupid people. Moths are the retards of the animal kingdom. Don’t believe me? Next time a moth tries to get out of your house, open a window. It’ll find the glass pane alright, but I promise it won’t find that opening for at least six minutes. If you try to help it, odds are it will just slap you in the face and wander back towards your tasty tasty clothing. I didn’t even mention clothing!


Moths eat your clothes!

I mean, COME ON!  As if slapping me around, getting dust on my computer, ruining my food, and scaring the poo right out of me wasn’t enough. Now you have to go hide in my closet and eat my shirt? This is one of those sneak attacks that you might not even attribute to the moth. You’ll be half-way through your job interview before you realize that the interviewer is staring at your chest. And you’re a guy. And then you realize that you have holes in your nice button-up shirt where cloth should be covering your nipples. Granted you should have realized this BEFORE you walked out of the door. But how often do you really check for these things? And you won’t even think to blame the moth. You’ll blame your shirt-eating roommate who you knew you should have kicked out when the lease was up…


Granted, if that happened you could probably get the job just by threatening to sue for sexual harassment. Though odds are a moth would get into the judge’s chambers and annoy him into having you held in contempt of court.

I’m telling you, moths are jerks. They’re out to get you. Get your shotguns. It’s moth season.

You just read it, but here’s the cartoon version on YouTube with some fresh drawings. Enjoy!

White Shores on Amazon

Enjoy this little tirade? Check out why I’ll never be as famous as Nathan Fillion or how my book is exactly like Lord of the Rings… I hate it when people ask me that.


  • Meaghan Ward

    A contribution to #10 They are Ridiculously Stupid
    A friend of my sister-in-law’s was having problems with her hearing, she went into the doctor’s and they examined her ear and said “we have a live one!” it turned out that fatty old moth flew into her ear while she was sleeping and got stuck

    • Odds are it was a zombie moth hungering for brains…

      • Lesana

        Okay so something really weird just happened in my room, A HUGE moth got
        inside my room through my AC. I ran out my room inside my brother’s
        room next door. I begged him to then go inside my room and kill the moth
        so then he started chasing after the moth and then finally hits the
        moth with his shoe and as if that wasnt disturbing enough the wings came
        off AND IT KEPT FLYINGGGG! so me and my brother got scared and looked
        at each other like WTH? I’m freaking out like idk how it kept
        flying?? HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU? how many wings they have jeezzz

        • Magnificent Maggot


    • This single comment has scared me for life. Thank you very much.

    • Now i wont sleep.

    • zuko

      i am now hiring night guards to stop those moths coming anywere near mee

    • Nyanlovercat700

      I’ve always thought of that,that’s why you wear earphones while sleeping.

  • Awesome. Pure random tirade. Had me laughing all the way through.

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  • kitty


  • Angela LeRoy

    What is the moth is your pet? Does it still do all these ?

    • I think a moth is the last pet on earth I would ever want

  • Arnold Poeya

    Moths are awesome creatures. You’re just a terrible person.

    • Indeed, much like Stalin or Oscar the Grouch.

      • Liam

        Or Hitler

    • Alex Berdkan

      You are awesome too for understanding

  • John Ogawa

    I absolutely agree with your post. Was searching for i hate moth and this turn up.

  • Liam

    I was smashing at my computer screen with a t shirt whilst trying to read question 4 xD

  • Lesana

    Okay so something really weird just happened in my room, A HUGE moth got inside my room through my AC. I ran out my room inside my brother’s room next door. I begged him to then go inside my room and kill the moth so then he started chasing after the moth and then finally hits the moth with his shoe and as if that wasnt disturbing enough the wings came off AND IT KEPT FLYINGGGG! so me and my brother got scared and looked at each other like WTH? I’m freaking out like idk how that bitch kept flying?? HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO ANYONE?

    • Haha no

    • Nicholas Ryan Park

      A moth will not fly without wings, neither will most species if you were to superimpose wings. What are you even on about?

  • michelle

    “It may be gross enough to discover that moths have eaten a hole through your favorite cashmere sweater, but get this — it’s not actually the moths that eat your clothes, but their slimy larvae.

    Simply put, it’s impossible for adult moths to eat your threads. Moths only have mouths during their larval, or caterpillar, stage, which usually lasts from when the insect is about two weeks old until it turns a month.”

    Source: http://www.livescience.com/33260-why-moths-eat-clothes.html


  • The moth carer

    bull shit only one species of thousands eats cloths they are adorable little creatures i prefer them to butterfly’s which are stupid they die in one day, some moths are bright coloured and they are most definitely not annoying

    • Alex Berdkan

      Thank you for understanding my friend

    • Lucifer

      – Moth

    • Griffin Dean

      Butterflies are not stupid you asshole!

      • NorthernSoul

        This comment is stupid for missing the point 😀

  • Magnificent Maggot

    All of these are incredibly biased or stupid.

    1. So are butterflies.

    2. So do butterflies and many other insects.

    3. So do butterflies.

    4. Don’t use your computer in the middle of the night with no other lights on outside.

    5. So do butterflies and many other insects.

    6. So do butterflies and many other insects.

    7. Same with butterflies and many other insects.

    8. Same with butterflies and many other insects.

    9. http://24.media.tumblr.com/e339ea36a1753ec2a85daae6cc73ff6a/tumblr_mjpryzj11M1r7180yo5_500.jpg THIS is terrifying?

    10. Same with butterflies and many other insects.

    11. Only a handful of around 150-250,000 moths eat clothing.

    • Makre

      You are a reason 7, bravo.

      • Ganondorf Dragmire

        Thanks for providing a reasonable argument instead of posting some idiocy like ” You are a reason 7, bravo. “.
        Oh right, you didn’t, because there is no reasonable argument

    • HipsterGrizzlyFox

      Moths are satanic.. D:

      • Ganondorf Dragmire

        How so? There’s nothing wrong with them.
        give me any reasons why moths are satanic
        I can already say something about the clothes eating myth – thats one species and that’s only the larvae.

        • Grey

          There is no myth behind that. There are small little holes in like 6 of my long sleeves (mostly the ones that are made of cotton). There were also a shitload of moths that I had killed that were sitting on the very same clothes that have holes on them.

          • Ganondorf Dragmire

            Again – The only moths that eat clothes are the larvae of a single, incredibly specific species of moth.

            Give me a legit reason as to why moths are bad.

          • Grey

            And lo and behold, they still eat my clothes.

            That is a bad reason, is it not? If I went and poked holes in your clothes with a knife, would that be a good thing?

            They also grow in vast numbers, meaning if there’s 1 of them, there’s at least 5 more of them nearby. I hate mass reproduction, especially when they’re not even attractive to look at like lunar moths. It plays on my OCD and freaks me out uncontrollably. I strongly dislike it, to the point where I consider it almost hateful.

          • Ganondorf Dragmire

            You know what would be a good idea?
            Buy moth balls.
            Dont blame the fucking moths for something you dont bother to fix.

          • Grey

            I’m not blaming them… I’m “disliking” them to a great extent. Please don’t confuse the two.

            But the extent of your logic isn’t… quite logical. If some random stranger kept entering your home, mating and reproducing more strangers, contaminated your food or ate your clothes, would you like them? Would you enjoy their company? I wouldn’t, and I don’t.

          • Ganondorf Dragmire

            That’s what removing the stranger from your home is for instead of complaining about every stranger online.

    • Grey

      No. But most animals (including humans) are able to differentiate between prey and predators whereas most insects do not. They simply annoy, bug and attack the shit out of you with no disregard. That is why they’re annoying.

      If I wandered into an unknown place accidentally, I wouldn’t flutter around a giant who’s 5000x larger than me. I wouldn’t flutter around that giant who’s trying to smack the shit out of me. I would LEAVE.

      We don’t go around intentionally touching people or shitting/spitting on things, whereas many insects do. It is their job, their nature (however undesirable).

      • Ganondorf Dragmire

        Insects are able to differentiate between their prey and their predators because otherwise they’d be extinct. If you think insects only live to annoy people, then you’re incredibly stupid.
        Its not their ‘job’.

        I guess you could say that its a Human’s job to shit everywhere, go around touching people, contaminate things, etc. BECAUSE THATS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO and if you ignore that then you’re retarded.

        • Grey

          Some of them are, but the ones that do so are less annoying and aren’t typically the ones people hate.

          Yes, we also shit everywhere and leave a carbon footprint behind, I’m not necessarily fond of all people either.

          But at the very least, people don’t fly in front and around my face over 30 times. They don’t cluster around my clothes and scare the fuck out of me when I go pick them up.

          • Ganondorf Dragmire

            People actually do all of those things you just said. I get constantly shoved around and crouded by people whenever i have to go somewhere (Its a busy city) and, while i’m not picking them up, many people are very imposing (but dumb) brutes.

          • Grey

            And I would hate that as well. I find nothing wrong/odd with my strong dislike of moths or most insects/pests.

          • Ganondorf Dragmire

            Well, insects do form up the majority of multicellular life so it would be kind of odd to hate the majority of life for something it, quite literally, has no control over

          • Grey

            Is it odd? Perhaps the degree to which I find insects disgusting is more extreme than normal, but I would bet my money on saying that I’m more within the norm than you are. Whether it has control over its functions is entirely irrelevant. I don’t know why you would think that matters. When you have “too much” of something, it also becomes disgusting. It’s quiet a natural and well-known phenomenon.

      • Ganondorf Dragmire

        Its only fair that if you hate insects for things they dont do, then i can hate you for things you actually do.

        • Grey

          That’s fine with me.

    • Dan Theman

      Simple counter argument – You’re taking the article too seriously.

      This article is for people who currently have a moth problem & then google it. They can enjoy this article for a bit of light relief.

      I could poke holes in the article too, but I see its intention.

      & for the record… To this day, I haven’t had a single butterfly enter (intrude) my house, not one. The same can’t be said for flies & moths who have come in the thousands over the years.

      I don’t kill them either, despite how much they annoy me. The spiders appreciate my kindness as well, they’re a tasty little snack & are drawn to the web.

  • Magnificent Maggot

    Also, anyone who sees this, reply if you hate insects but are an animal lover.
    I will explain to you why you are not an animal lover if you hate insects:
    insect life represents over 90 percent of all life on earth.
    Yes, including plant life and microbial life.

    • Makre


      • Ganondorf Dragmire

        Bravo, you hate animals.

    • HipsterGrizzlyFox

      Insects are still scary. I don’t hate them, I just find them to be really scary.

  • Melody Smith

    I love this article. Moths are so scary and evil. Bats aren’t as suicidal with their sonar they don’t hit your screen and then flop into your face or worse, into my pajamas. ewwwww.

  • ss

    I hate moths with a passion. I came across this by typing I hate moths, also. We are not cruel just because we hate them; and hating moths and other pest insects do not make us like hitler, stalin, whoever. Its true, they just bug the shit out of you. Why when you have done nothing to provoke it. One moment I’m relaxing after a work out then its smaking me in the arms and face, wtf?!? It disappears, I go to the bathroom to shower, its freakin on the counter now. So that means it was on me the whole time. Ugh!!! Im glad I have moth repellant, im buying more!!! They work! They tried getting to my closet and died!!! Only I have to rid of it after, I hate them.

  • Alex Berdkan

    Moths are not dirty, you are. Moths and butterflies are both beautiful creatures. Clearly your dumb brain can’t understand that. And your drawings make you seem worse.

    • Makre

      You are a reason 7.

    • Grey

      “Moths and butterflies are beautiful creatures, clearly your dumb brain can’t understand that” – a quote that will follow you throughout time.

  • peonybloomer

    Moth haters haven’t seen the beautiful saturniid moths. Even more beautiful than butterflies. Butterflies can’t touch the unique patterns of saturniids. Have you ever see the glorious luna moth? That is a saturniid. Or perhaps I will recommend you all the Comet Moth or Isabella Moon Moth. Both beautiful moths.

  • Grumpy Gamerz


  • Grumpy Gamerz

    I just hate them it’s my opinion

  • Kit

    Reason 8 got me, like a minute ago my brother killed the fvcking big moth for me, then all of a sudden another one came out but it’s smaller. Ugh! And I’m definitely getting paranoid because of it.

  • Keyley

    Moths are better than butterflies… They are kinda stupid. But at least they don’t eat corpses like butterflies and they’re faces don’t look like the face of the devil themselves. Moths are just fluffy idiots and butterflies will suck out your soul and eat your writing flesh.

    • Keyley


  • Keyley


    • Nyanlovercat700

      That pink moth is so adorable and fluffy though but the moths I hate are Indian meal house moths

  • Keyley


    • MX

      Those are all the moths that enter my room…disgusting shits

  • Nicholas Ryan Park

    Moths are simply trying to survive, and they haven’t been turned into a walking vagina as you apparently have. I was researching any way to help a moth with a clipped wing (lost cause, I know) and came across this whiney narcissistic garbage. Your thoughts on the matter are not only misinformed, but painfully annoying to read. I expected sex after having to read such nonsensical whiney shit as this.

  • Nicholas Ryan Park

    Just be thankful it wasn’t a European hornet, those suckers are active at night and drawn to light in an even more zealous manner than moths…Not to mention they hurt a good bit, guarantee your vagina would pain you after an incident.

  • Berta Klaunová

    Idk what ur talking about, they are cute as hell and I always like to have them walking with their little legs on my hands, they are hairy, and their face is just awww, moth is my favorite animal. Ever tried to get rid of a mosquito? Now that’s hell.

  • CarineLuna

    A moth was flying around before and it tried to come near me, so I jumped out of fright and it came under my shoe and got injured. I didn’t mean to but why was it even flying threateningly towards me? Normally I have a good relationship with animals and would have helped it go outside but it kept flying towards me. Now there are 2 other moths flying around because they think I killed one of them purposefully. They don’t know that I was being attacked by that moth and it was an intrusion to peace and calm.

  • beth68

    Moths show up at night. You can’t see them coming. Some have circle patterns that look like eyes yes I have a vivid imagination and startle easily.

  • Nyan Puff

    10 reasons to hate you
    1.you have a mind of a 6year old. Adults know what a moth really is

    2.Oh my god you are a bad
    All of these are wrong. Do you science bruh?

    1.moths were first butterflies were the second generation

    2.it depends do you have foul smelling sweat?

    3.they don’t even have that much of fluff!

    4.you are using the computer out of the house? How the fuck do they get in your house when everything is closed.

    5.without moths your mom would rage without her silk scarf

    6.then why the fuck do you kill them if you don’t want bug juice on your threads?


    8.OH no, your retarded

    9.well your buddy is an absolute pussy.

    10.wow. You’re the one who’s REDICULOUSLY stupid



  • Michelle Alvarado

    I just don’t like that they always fly into my face. And when I’m using my computer, I just turn on a lamp and put it in the same room, but far away from me. Then, i change my computer screen brightness to low. They’ll go for the lamp, seriously.