I Hate Game of Thrones

I Hate Game of Thrones

George R.R. Martin can write, and boy is it painful. I don’t know what stresses me out more, going on stage in front of hundreds of people or watching Arya and Sansa Stark struggle through life. Actually I do, it’s the Starks by a mile. I just finished Storm of Swords, and while I’m not into reviews (and never into spoilers) I have to say that these books are absolutely terrible. Not in the sense of his writing, he’s a brilliant writer. And not in the sense of the story itself, I love the complexities, intrigue, and series of interweaving plots.

Game of Thrones

What makes a Song of Ice and Fire (the series name) so terrible is that I’m getting no sleep. Do you know how much of my vacation I blew reading those books? I could have been out enjoying sunshine and fresh air, baguettes and crack cocaine, but instead I was sitting indoors reading! Well, I sat outdoors reading too, but the point is that I wasn’t actually appreciating any of it. I was too worried about Tyrion Lannister – which in itself makes me fear for my general sense of morality – to look up and see all the beautiful French women around me.

In essence, George R. R. Martin ruined my vacation. It’s not enough to say that I enjoy the books, I’m devouring them. What stands out more prominently is that my life has been hijacked by a series that the whole world apparently knew about before I picked them up. I will say this, as much as I hate having certain characters killed off (usually the ones I’m really rooting for) he does a fantastic job of sucking you into the lives of the rest. Granted I can’t keep half of the information straight, but that’s just because I can’t be bothered to slow down to figure out what houses are where and who’s related to who.

Massive map of Westeros

And even though I’m not into spoilers, I will say that if kinslayers truly are the worst kind of sinners in GRRM’s world, that special little circle in hell is rapidly turning into a big special circle.

Really, dear old Georgie has ruined my life. Why? First off I only have one book left before I’m caught up to him. That means waiting for more, something we all hate to do. Secondly, he’s going to die before he finishes writing them. I get the feeling it could even be as he pens the last chapter, pulling everything together and setting my heart at ease. And then gurk! He’s dead.

So thanks for making my life miserable with your fantastic writing, amazing characters, and crappy magic system. Yeah, that’s right, I’m not a huge fan of how magic functions in your world. But I do love the ominous onset of ancient dualistic forces, so I have hope for it… grudging hope. But what a fantastic world to lose yourself in for a few hours. I can’t wait to see the HBO series.

Westeros from Space

Also, fantastic climaxes at the end of each book. Dang. Has anyone else had their life ruined by this guy or am I the only one?

EDIT: I just realized that a Storm of Swords is only the third book out of five! That makes me feel a lot better. And while we’re talking about hating things, I really do hate moths – and here are ten reasons why (with pretty pictures!).


White Shores on Amazon

  • Nick

    Just to ease your mind a little bit he has told the guys running the HBO show the major plot points for the end of the series in case he does die.

    • When I finally get to watch the show I get the feeling this will ease my mind a lot. Sorry I missed your comment earlier!

  • Tim

    game of thrones actually does suck. period. thanks for getting my hopes up in finding another reasonable reviewer who hates game of thrones

    • To be fair, I never did finish that last book. I couldn’t get into it, and I haven’t since. Maybe I’ll pick them back up, and I don’t know what’s changed for me, but I don’t really care any more… I don’t know what happened to my wild enthusiasm from before, but it’s not around any more.