Why I’ll never be as famous as Nathan Fillion

Why I’ll never be as famous as Nathan Fillion

And these are hard facts. The thing is that whenever people find out I wrote a book, and that it’s for sale, they tend to say something like “I can’t believe you’re gonna be famous!” Or “Remember me when you get super famous!” My usual response is something bashful. I’ll say “oh quit it,” while brushing their adulation aside furtively with my hand.

I mean I appreciate the comment, I harbor similar delusions and grasp at any straws thrown my way. But in the end, it’s really impossible for me to ever be famous. Especially as famous as Nathan Fillion. And here’s why.

Nathan-Fillion-Firefly

For one, fame is a moving target. Who’s famous depends entirely on where you are and who you’re talking to. No one in Benin knows who Tony the Tiger is, and you don’t even know where the heck Benin is. But secondly, I’m an author. Or at least that’s what people say I am. And if what those people say is true – for the sake of argument let’s just go with it – then I’m pretty low on the list for fame. How low?

 Famous-Factor

Not to go over this in too much detail, it’s pretty self-explanatory. The average American could name a higher percentage of the known diseases in the world today than their own Presidents. I’d almost bet you a twinkie on that. And while authors can be famous, they usually aren’t. You’d recognize more lolcats on sight than photos of presidents and authors combined.

But note that I’m not even famous yet. Not to any extent of the imagination. I may be outgoing and well known among my own circles, yes. But the word for that is “popular,” and I barely make it into that category. No, I’m an independent author. An indie. And you know where we rank on the famous factor?

Famous-Factor-Tertiary-Level

And that’s in spite of all the bad press fried carp has been getting lately. Your mom will never actually be famous, but all of those jokes about her have gotten around in spite of the fact. Indie authors are just a step up from Belgian pickle-flavored chips, and as soon as those things get discovered indie authors will drop another rung faster than Tom Cruise’s credibility. While indie authors can rise to a level of fame, and perhaps soon they’ll rival traditionally published authors, they’re still authors dang it. And I, personally, am nowhere near the famous indie authors of our time.

Famous-Factor-Nathan-Fillion-Summary

You can deduce from the above graphic where I stand since we’ve already compared me to fried carp. Which brings me back to the point: I’ll never be all that famous. I hope to meet Fillion one day and pledge my commitment to get the rights of Firefly into his hands. Heck, we should film a skit together while we’re at it. But that will be about as close to the top of the fame chain as I’m getting. Shaking hands with a real space cowboy. And what a dashing bandit he was.

Speaking of bandits, if you liked this post you should check out how you can pirate my book. It’s a brief tutorial by Jeff explaining how you, like Fillion, can become a dashing rapscallion and get the kindle version of my book on ANY device. Well, except maybe the original Commodore 64. Let’s take that down a notch and say any device that can read ePUB files (Nooks, Sony Readers, iPads, etc.).

Or just go buy White Shores for kindle. That works too.

  • Just a note, for those of you not familiar with my style of blogging. I always leave little notes in the titles of photos and links, so if you let your mouse hover over either you’ll usually find some extra commentary. Sometimes they’re even clever.

  • Tiffany Tackett

    This blog post was absolutely hilarious, and frightfully true.  Personally I would rank generals higher than athletes, unless we are talking hockey athletes, then it’d be the same order. XD

    I wish authors were more famous, alas, the golden era of the rock-star-author has passed, as the internet engulfs everything (dune cat).
    On a side note, I am hunting down those pickle chips.  They sound fantastic!

    • The pickle chips are green, not purple. But this should help you start your hunt. I don’t even like pickles and I’m addicted to them!

      • Check that! Apparently we just had some delivered to the ship… oh man… so happy

    • Ben Budge

      /agreed … Especially with hockey athletes (I am one, but  less famous than Belgium pickle chips) 

  • Jill

    I don’t know what you’re talking about. My mom IS famous. But Nathan Fillion is so…so… *insertscreamingteenfansandfireflygeekshere*.  Don’t forget. He’s also a captain and a murder novelist.

    I personally hope you stay indie.  Makes you cooler.  Kind of like music–once everyone’s heard the song, the band’s not cool anymore.

    You may share the same level as fried fish, but the difference between you and it is that you don’t smell, and I find your presence much more enjoyable.

    I look forward to reading your book.

  • good lunch read thanks jay, also what do you have against fried carp?

    • Have you had it lately? In comparison with all the other fish of the sea (edible that is) it comes in pretty dang low. Barracuda is where it’s at.

  • Nathan Fillion= incredible… great space cowboy and a great mystery writer as well….. but who knows… maybe you’re the next great..

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