My book is exactly like LOTR

My book is exactly like LOTR

I get the following question a lot regarding my book: “So… is it like Lord of the Rings?”

It’s an honest question. I mean, how could they know? But after slapping my forehead I usually say something like: “Yes, yes it is. It’s actually pretty much the exact same story. There are hobbits, orcs, and a spider named Shelob.”

“So what’s different about it? Does it have elves?”

“The difference.” I say, “Is that instead of a hobbit trying to destroy a ring, it’s a ring, get this… it’s a ring trying to destroy a hobbit!” I then smile really big and wait for some synapses to connect. If they do, and it’s not the – oh, this is sarcasm – synapses I tend to follow the trail as long as it’ll go.

“Wait wait wait… a ring trying to destroy a hobbit?

“Yeah!” I’m effusive now. “Can’t you just see the movie? It’ll be this ring with legs and arms, and he’s like ‘we must destroy the one hobbit. The one forged to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them.'”

By now they’re starting to think about plagiarism. They’re also wondering how this doesn’t qualify.

“It’s freakin’ fantasy man!” I say. “There’s nothing original about it! You just hack up a bunch of elves, call them something like ‘Lillies’ and say they carry crossbows instead of longbows. Give the hobbits excessively hairy hands instead of feet, and call Gandalf ‘the Plaid’ and you’re on your way to an original work.”

Gandalf-the-Plaid

This statement is usually followed by one of two things:

1) “Uhh… noooooo….?”

2) Blank stare – potentially a spot of drool forming at the corner of their mouth

Either way I get around to saying, “No, my book is nothing like Lord of the Rings at all. The similarities include: magic, mountains, walking, talking, characters, and words strung together in such a fashion as to create sentences.”

“But… you just said…”

White Shores on Amazon

Buy it on Kindle (or paperback) to find out how similar to Lord of the Rings you think it is. And if you enjoyed the rant that this was, you haven’t seen anything until you read my 10 reasons to hate moths.

  • So I was gonna show this post to someone to see what their reaction would be. I like to pick people who don’t even know I’m literate to read my stuff, less likely they’ve got preconceived notions. As soon as I mentioned that I’d written this book they asked “is it like Lord of the Rings?”

    I didn’t have the heart to take it past the whole hobbit-sized ring scenario this time…

  • Jenna L Stanton

    Ahahahahaha that was totally awesome! We laughed pretty hard and decided we really want to read your LOTR book. Sounds really interesting! 😉

  • mekenzie

    oh dear.. this is painful though hilarious.  
    i’m buying copies for all the people in my life who have kindles.
    excited to read it.

    • How could I NOT like a comment like that?

  • Shelby

    Oh, the non-fantasy readers in the world…sometimes I forget that (a) they exist, and (b) their only frame of reference for fantasy is the LOTR movies.  Ay yay yay.  What a sad existence.

    Cannot wait for July 20th!  Wish I had a kindle… I want to see how much it’s changed since I first read it back at the Goins’ many months ago.

  • So i’m confused is your book about LOTR or not?

  • Haha- that’s awesome, Jay!

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